i committed murder

tales of an introverted naija boy - ọ́dẹ́ ànjònú (demon hunter)

me, striking a pose with my fears after i murdered that werey.

itiju thought he had me. (scoff)

now he's completely oblivious to the fact that he's been had, he doesn't know what i’ve got in store for him. he just goes on bedrotting and having his smoke as always. the guy has been on my neck ever since i was little. though it'll be jerky on my part to not acknowledge that he, in his own way, has shielded me from certain “not so pleasant” and embarrassing events. wait sef, these events could have built me well enough to fight him off. but man knows what he was doing. he's had me on a leash all these while. if i had been without him during highschool, and even right now, my social life wouldn't suck as much as it does. but that's it, he's done enough. now he's just a yoke i need to outgrow. but he doesn't want to let go, no matter how much i try to break free, i keep running back to hide in his arms. your typical toxic relationship. i know you're bad for me, but you're the only one that really gets me. so i keep running back to you instead of fighting my way out. now i can hear my dad's voice constantly reminding me to be a man. what does that even mean yo?

you should see the smirk on his face everytime i try to walk out and try to face things by myself. urgh, haunting, mischievous! it has been etched in to my very being. and the mocking, ear piercing laughter he lets out whenever i come crawling back.

but i couldn't stay like that forever. it’ll be my end. this guy is keeping me from living. i can't even make a living because he's always on to me. i don't even have shishi in my opay. enough is enough abeg. i need to grab the bull by its horns and ride on it, regardless of how rough the ride is.

so today while he was having his little nappy time, the only time i get to breathe without seeing flashes of his haunting smirk, i began my plot. i carefully moved him from the condemned two-seater sofa he was sleeping on, careful enough to not wake him, to the wheelbarrow i had prepared beforehand. he’s a deep sleeper, so it was easier. i pushed him to the rail station just two blocks away from our apartment. i settled down for a moment, and did a breathing exercise to calm my nerves. i went on and tied the werey to the back of a freight train that was bound for Kano. i sat on the floor by the passengers’ bench, few feet away from the rail. i took out the pack of davidoff cigar i had confiscated earlier, and the lighter he had with it. i slid one between my lips, even though i don't smoke and never had, except the times myself and my brothers would roll papers torn out of our school books and light a match to the bottom part to mimic smokers we often saw and their steeze.

“seun!”

look who's decided to wake up and join us. my life long friend. i said mockingly, with a slight feel of excitement and satisfaction beneath each words.

“you this bastard! what the hell do you think you're about to do? get me out of this rope right now or else…”

“ou scary. or else what?” i responded sharply not giving him room to complete his sentence. “looks like you're full of energy. well it's natural, since you've had a long and relaxing nap.”

i lit the cigar, and looked him in the eyes. he was so furious, it was almost scary even though he was all tied up. i was enjoying the whole act sha. i put the cigar in my mouth to take a draw, and some got into my head through my nose. i coughed so hard, my eyes were watery. in that same moment, naso i tear laugh oh. i knew i didn't have to smoke, but i just stubbornly wanted to make a statement, one that turned out dumb. my eyes were red and watery. everybody had boarded the train to leave, so nobody was there to wonder if i had gone mad. not that i cared any longer. i mean, afterall i got rid of itiju.

the train honked so loud that it rung in my ears for some seconds, signalling its preparedness to move. that was my cue. i got up, walked towards itiju, threw the cigar on the floor and crushed it with my fake crocs. i then dusted my bumbum with my hands, since i'd been sitting on the floor (sigh). itiju had lost all his bite and was all bark at this point. sensing that there was no way around it, he began to plead. i had plugged my ears. the werey didn't know what was about to happen yet.

“seun please, don't do this. think of all the times we spent together. how i saved you from utter embarrassment in JSS 2, when you tried to…”

i interrupted him again before he completed his statement,“oga, shut up. i'm done with you.”

the trained honked the second time, this time it's engine had been turned on. i took a few steps away from the train. when i had gotten far enough, i stopped, and looked itiju in the eyes. he was weeping and wailing already at that point. he knew what was coming. certain death. that's too abstract, he was already seeing grim reaper hovering above him, ready to lead him on.

shouting, loud enough just for me to catch on, he wailed, “seun, you're not a murderer don't do this. please! there's no coming back from this. you're not a monster, hm. please!”

before then, i didn't know beings like itiju feared death. his words came in through my left ear and went right out back through my right. the train had begun to move slowly. i stood there waving at him, and as it accelerated gradually, i watched him become little and little and little, as the train sped up, dragging itiju mercilessly with it on the rough terrain around the rail. till he became so tiny that i could only see a dangling dot and could only hear his soothing wail. his scream became music to my ears, i turned around and danced to his cries. satisfied, i brought my hand down. i was cruel.

i had successfully murdered one of my demons. many more to go sha.

after the train and itiju was no longer in sight, the atmosphere became so quiet. the silence was soothing and frightening, both at once. the wind whistled as it took with it dead leaves and branches, further setting the mood, eerie.

i walked down to a nearby stall. i got a liter of fuel, my hard earned ₦1250. but i didn't care, because like how people often burned their bridges, i wanted to burn the railway that marked the end of my life with itiju. i poured the fuel over the rail, took few steps back and lit the lighter and threw it. i watched it make contact with the fuel in slow motion. as it reached its highest point and began to descend. i dusted my hands and kissed itiju goodbye as i left the rail.

to celebrate the success of my first murder i went to the nearest store to treat myself. with the change i had left, i bought nutri milk, since i wasn’t a fan of alcohol, and made a toast to itiju’s demise. i held on to his pack of cigar as souvenir, a keepsake to mark my conquest.

PS: ìtìjú is Yoruba for shame. it also branches over shyness, introversion and the likes.

this probably the longest I've written on here. so i decided to crucify my shame for my own good. it's limiting me so much. i can't cope with it anymore. giving into shyness, and saying you're introvert all the time won't feed you. it'll suck you dry and make you a pathetic loser. so, i became a murderer to survive. bruh!! i just thought about how this could make a badass anime series. i would make an art illustrating this later on. head to my IG art page for when it drops. my username is krapartinc. is this something you feel you'd read, if it were a book?