I find no usefulness to myself outside Jesus. I can't seem to see just one, at least, one area where I'm relevant outside. I find no value in a life that doesn't involve Jesus. This is why I'm usually a mess everytime I sin. It explains the reason why I live miserably after hurting Him. It is simple. My worth, happiness, value, peace, wholeness, everything that makes me me is tied to Jesus, and outside this realisation & understanding lies my misery. Whenever I fall, and I hide, I can't get anything else about my life right. He makes me who I am. He's the reason I smile. He is the reason I have peace. He is the reason I dance and sing. He is my very essence. Outside Jesus I'm just a facade. Outside Jesus I'm no different from the filth of this world. Outside Jesus I'm dead.
It gets funny at this point, because in Jesus also, I'm dead. But what is the catch? If I'm dead in or outside Jesus, then what's the bother right? Say all you will, I'll still choose death with Jesus a million times over. Death outside Jesus is a waste. It is vain. You die and die for absolutely nothing. You die eternally. The death that comes with the life of Jesus is one that guarantees something that worth far more than life and death itself. It may come as paradoxical, but this death I speak of is one that give true life. In short, in this death is where I really live.
The general idea of living itself is scam. How is it living when it demands not only your life, but also at the cost of your soul. Worse, is that you're guaranteed an eternal cycle of damnation. So basically it all rests on your palm, the choice of life and death. Your decision is critical.
What then is life? Simple! Death. Life is death. Death is life. Death in Christ. Denial of the world and the acknowledgement of the cross. You've got to die to really live. What now is death? Death is living. It is life outside Jesus. Acknowledgement of the world and the denial of the cross. You're living to die. A death with no return or insurance. Lol, I just keep ranting. Irdk what came over me. It's good sha, I got this piece out of it. I'm just pouring out as it comes, so please forgive me if I'm all over the place.
I recommend you listen to Steffany Gretzinger. Sinmidele, Sondae, and the likes. There's this calm behind their lyrics. It's divine. More than therapy, it teaches. They make poems into melodies basically. As for me, I'm still navigating life as a teenager that chose to die with Jesus, a teenager that is also Nigerian (emphasis on this one). My road is rocky like mad. We die there ni o. No turning back. To whoever this is meant for, please don't back down. Please endure, persevere, trust the process. You're not by yourself. The thought of this alone can disrupt your steel-hard resolve. Please you're not by yourself. Still go to the place of prayer even when you don't feel anything. Read your Bible even when it is boring you out. Please see it as a sacrifice and not as a chore. Apostle Femi Lazarus said, "We don't measure spiritual activities by feelings, it is a consciousness." Don't try to feel. Let your faith work. And of course keep in mind that we aren't battling with flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12), so it is foolish to fight carnally. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal (2 Corinthians 10:3-4). We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, neither are we wrestling with flesh and blood. Please don't forget about this. Only in Jesus is your victory guaranteed. So when you fall, and hide, remember this, come back to this letter. Know that hiding in shame and guilt and wallowing in your misery will not heal you. Yea, the person you hurt is still the same person with the ability heal you. The feeling sucks right? It is a sacrifice. Something you give away for something else. I'll stop here. This letter totally unplanned sha. I pray God sends it to the right persons in their moments. Thank you for reading.
How are you? Are you fine? How are you holding up? Do you still pray and study the word? Are you consistent? How is everything with you? Please be well. And be ever conscious of the love of Jesus.
Till next week, bye.
I recommend you listen to sermons, at least one a day, please try. Live, love, eat, rest, read, pray & die.
Thank you Seun, I see you have healed from your last letter. To me it was like a letter where you had to rant. Glad you ranted fine.😹
I have been struggling a bit lately. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.
I also would suggest Brooke Ligertwood and Misty Edwards.
Bye!
I will be fine and you will too.
Thank you!
Chai!